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Ask: Building Consent Culture - Kitty Stryker

Ask: Building Consent Culture - Kitty Stryker

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To resist rape culture, we need a consent culture—and one that is more than just reactionary.

Have you ever heard the phrase “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission?” Violating consent isn’t limited to sexual relationships, and our discussions around consent shouldn’t be, either. To resist rape culture, we need a consent culture—and one that is more than just reactionary. Left confined to intimate spaces, consent will atrophy as theory that is never put into practice. 

The multi-layered power disparities of today’s world require a response sensitive to a wide range of lived experiences. In Ask, Kitty Stryker assembles a retinue of writers, journalists, and activists to examine how a cultural politic centered on consent can empower us outside the bedroom, whether it’s at the doctor’s office, interacting with law enforcement, or calling out financial abuse within radical communities. 

More than a collection of essays, Ask is a testimony and guide on the role that negated consent plays in our lives, examining how we can take those first steps to reclaim it from institutionalized power.

  • Features:
    • Fatphobia and Consent: How Social Stigma Mitigates Fat Women’s Autonomy' by Virgie Tovar
    • Giving Birth When Black' by Takeallah Rivera
    • The Kids Aren’t All Right: Consent and Our Miranda Rights' by Navarre Overton
    • 27 other essays that range in setting from sex parties to the service industry. 
    • At a time when every conversation seems to be about consent (or lack thereof, rather), it’s a collection that actually adds to the discussion in crucial ways, and would prove enriching even to those who consider themselves pros at discussing sex, consent, and feminism.
  • Using Safer Sex products means protecting the health of both you and of your sexual partner. It helps you stay healthy and can even make sex better.
  • Kitty Stryker is a writer, activist, and authority on developing a consent culture in alternative communities. She is the founder of, a hub for LGBT, kinky, and polyamorous folks looking for a sexcritical approach to relationships. Kitty also cofounded the artsy sexy party Kinky Salon London, as well as creating the award-winning Ladies High Tea & Pornography Society. She also created the San Francisco–based kink party Whippersnappers, and acted as head of cosplay for queer gaming convention GaymerX. Kitty tours internationally, speaking at universities and conferences about feminism, sex work, body positivity, queer politics, and more.
  • Publisher: ‎ Thorntree Press (October 27, 2017)
  • Weight: ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Size: ‎ 5.25 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Paperback: ‎ 224 pages

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